I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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