I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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