Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
