Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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