"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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