hotel room ftw
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
