Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
