Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize