We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
