We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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