let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
