so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
