for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
It's never too late to be topless.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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