I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
