My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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