real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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