I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize