i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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