So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
