the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
