remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
people are starting to question the shark bite story
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize