The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Bring me that man meat
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Randomize
