I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
