He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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