why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
