just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
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