I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
