I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
