Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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