I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
These tits shall not be calmed
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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