Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
