I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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