During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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