It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
