All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
