I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
