i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
