I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize