He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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