she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You're earring is so big in my mouth
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
