Non-Jews are for practice
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
