wanna go halves on a baby?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
so much tequila, so little girl.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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