Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Non-Jews are for practice
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
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