I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
