There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
All the doctor said was why
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
