btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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