He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Ketchup is God's man juice
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
