I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
