The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
