Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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