Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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