i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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