I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
