It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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