I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
