i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
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