i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
