There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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