I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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