Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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