No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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